Revelations

What I'm writing is being typed on my phone. There will likely be typos, grammar and spelling errors, and formatting will be weird. But I have a lot on my mind with this Kaylen thing and I want to talk about it because I want to know that I am resolved in this decision. And, yes, I'm using her real name because that's how serious this discussion is.

First, I still like her a lot and I still care about her, regardless of our less than perfect history together. If I could go back to when I chose Rose over her, I would likely change that decision. Communication with kaylen was always easier than rose and I feel that things might have gotten better had i stuck with her instead of jumping ship. But I jumped ship when it looked like I was abandoned adrift at sea (metaphorically speaking) so I think I could be forgiven for that at least. That said, that is me wanting to be with a Kaylen from before. But in recent conversations and discussions I've determined that there are good aspect of her that have changed and the bad aspects seem to have only gotten worse of the changed at all.

Let's start with the main reason I left her in the first place... well the main reason regarding just her. She always comes off as someone who doesn't care about anything. When she goes through hard times or has to put up with bad news, she says that she doesn't care and that she so used to bad news and disappointment that it doesn't affect her anymore. To me, this sounds like she's using apathy to numb the pain that often comes with living day to day life. And while I'll agree that like can be shit, apathy is unattractive. It shows a lack of passion. And when you can't care enough about yourself to fix whatever problems you have in your life, then how can anyone really expect you to care about them? And it seems this aspect of her hasn't changed at all. She is with the same annoying alpha male prick she was before and comes to me to complain about his selfish behavior. If its really that bad, don't settle for him and DO something about it for once. Make a choice instead of letting hem all be made for you.

Going off that is the ridiculous notion of the alpha-male beta-male labeling that i am just to death about. Its a logic she and I think Rose follow and it pisses me off to how it attempts to oversimplify things in the most bullshit way possible. I fail to see how a guy that is an absolute cretin to those around him, including the girl he's with is automatically superior simply because he's confident and assertive. While the latter are admirable qualities, there is a thin line between that and selfish arrogance, which is what the guy kaylen is with fails to really grasp. Constantly refusing to acknowledge your shortcomings, refusing to take responsibility for mistakes, or even refusing to change and improve yourself are traits I find distasteful in any person. And if she is willing to place more weight in a guy like that simply because he's a fucking "alpha," then she can fuck right off because people like him come off as the most detestable pricks in the world right up there with Microsoft PR guys. (Thought I'd get through this without a jab at ms, didn't you?)

Then there is the reason she would always choose him over me. According to her, he was passionate and could keep things interesting and pushing her to do something. Whereas she worries with me that she would be picking me because I'm a "safe" choice and that she would grow bored and possibly spend most of her time getting drunk or rekindling her issues with certain substances. Yet she is with that guy now who would keep things interesting. Engaged, no less. And yet she's admitted to still doing those substances and getting blackout drunk. I can't tell I'd his would by considered ironic or hypocritical on her end, but either way her worries about me apparently didn't mean shit. She says its all in good fun and its fine so long as someone else can be responsible for you and keep you from doing stupid shit. A few months ago, my brother almost died from doing that kind of stuff. He had "friends" with him who bailed on him. I don't trust others to keep me from doing stupid shit and I refuse to give up control and responsibility of my actions for a mindless blurr of fun with someone I care about that I may not even remember. And it worries me for her safety she does this too given how close to home drugs and alcohol affected me in the instance of my brother.

There are other, smaller things I could bring up. But I hit the big three issues that made me come to this decision and I am fucking sick of typing on my damn phone. So I'll leave with this. If Kaylen cared about herself, she wouldn't put up with the asshole she's with. If she wants to be with me, then I'd have to ask for some changes. But I don't think she'd change for me. I don't think she has what it takes to leave that prick and make her situation better. As a result, I don't think I really want to jump back into this situation anymore. Yes, I care about her and want her to be happy. And I'd do whatever I could to make it happen. But I can only do so much on my own. If she wants to be happy and wants to have a good or better life, she has to actually go for it and make those decisions herself. If she does, I promise to be there for her through the best and worst of it to make things work and be, overall, better. But that's a choice she'll have to make on her own. Given how our history is, I am not holding my breath for this to actually happen.

There. I'm done. Getting off this fucking phone keyboard now.

Guess who's back... back again...

I love how when I think something is over, I’m usually never right. For example, I thought Halo was over after the third game because trilogies are more appealing and we were expecting something new for the next console generation. Instead, I’m wrong and now Halo will be a “continuing saga” of games instead littered with remakes of old games because that’s what companies do when they don’t mind running something into the ground. When I thought things were over with Rose, we got back together only to find out that we weren’t as compatible as we were so many years ago. Which was a shame because had we managed to sit down and talk about our problems instead of what happened, we might have been okay. Now there is potential for something else I thought that was over to once again return into my life and I’m not sure how to take it just yet.

For those who remember, I had a previous journal series that never went online because it dealt with a lot of dark stuff that I really don’t want to get into. Simply put, I started it because I met a girl online who made me feel way differently than anyone else I had ever been with. I’m not saying that in the “she made me feel special, like a man, or in love” like that. Before we had actually met in person, when I say she made me feel differently, I mean in a sense that she could make me feel happy, angry, depressed, and even borderline scared at times. Not scared of her, but of just the unknown about meeting her and being with her and experience things she mentioned that I wanted but wasn’t sure I was ready for yet. In short, I got a wide range of emotional responses to some of our conversations and some of the things she’s done which is something no other person I’ve ever been with has done to such a large degree.

When we met, there was an immediate connection emotionally and physically and it seemed like we were damn near perfect for each other. So what happened?

She left me for another guy. Then she came back. Then she left again for the same guy. A guy who has consistently proven that he is a pretty disgusting individual with his self-inflated ego and general self-centered attitude. He’s that typical alpha-male douchebag that thinks he’s the shit when really, he’s just shit. He was never a good guy to her and was never willing to change or grow as person to make things work between them better. Yes, this is all based on what SHE has told me. Never met the guy, but he sounds like the kind of person I would immediately hate. I never understood why she kept going back to him when it seemed like he never cared about her. After the second time, I decided I was done with this drama nonsense and moved on to being with Rose (and we all know how that turned out).

She came back one time before Rose and I were official together again. Apparently this boyfriend of hers had been with another woman and was leaving her for this other woman. She came back to me because she had no other option and wanted to be with someone. We spent a day/night together talking about it and… other stuff. At the end of it, it came down to a choice of getting back with her and re-entering into this cyclical nonsense that didn’t seem to really end at all… or pursue other avenues and see if rekindling things with Rose would prove to be fruitful (it wasn’t). You know what choice I made and I don’t have to go down that explanation again.

So what happened to the off-again on-again girl who was left with nothing? Somehow she ended up back with that absolute cretin of a boyfriend. They got engaged. Now they live a stone’s throw away from me and after months of no contact with her, I hear from her again out of the blue. During our conversation, it has come up that she is not satisfied with him in some areas. While he’s “great” in a lot of ways, there are some things he lacks that she says she misses in me. But she isn’t committing to the idea of leaving him or anything like that. My guess is that she isn’t committing because either she’s too afraid to drop what she has for anything else in fear of ending up with nothing, OR she wants me to be the one that takes action and “claims” her for myself from this other guy.

As for me… I’m not really sure. A part of me is very much aware that this is no different than before. It’s the same story just set in the summer and with an engagement ring instead of just a “boyfriend/girlfriend” status thing. And that part of me knows it is a terrible idea to get involved with this nonsense again as I will likely end up getting hurt or just ruining what could (probably won’t) be a very happy (or at most, adequate) marriage. This is the logical side that has pretty much been right about everything up to now including how things would go with Rose, how insane things would eventually get with this girl, and how Legend of Korra’s ending would not be as satisfying as anything in Avatar (boosh).

That in mind… there’s a part of me that wants her back. I can’t say why for sure. Partly because when things were working with us, they were amazing, fun, and I want to relive those good times again. Partly because I’m alone and longing for anything at this point, regardless of who it is, just to see where it will go. Partly because I’m an idiot who doesn’t seem to learn from mistakes. Partly because she’s the reason I renewed my lease out here in Iowa City anyway. Partly because she does mean a lot to me, in ways that actually surprise me. Partly because she brings up something in me with almost no effort that no other girl I’ve been with has been able to yet. Did I mention that I might be an idiot?

As I said on Facebook the other day… life is very much like a maze. It is full of twists and turns. You never really know which path leads to the end. But, regardless you just keep trudging through and making whatever choices you can to progress forward at all. Every choice you make takes you down a different path. Sometimes, it leads to a dead end like accepting a job that has no room for growth or choosing to stay with someone because they’re a safe choice and not because you really love them and accepting their shit knowing you can do better. Sometimes, it just leads to more of the maze, where life continues moving on.

Going with the metaphor, where I am in my maze right now is at a point where I don’t have very many options that are either interesting, inviting, or look like they’ll get me anywhere I want to be. If being with this girl is a choice (a path of the maze) then it is currently the most appealing path to take. In doing so, I can risk quite a bit, but I am no longer alone and I get to be with someone I know well and am comfortable being around. But is that the right path? None of the other paths looks as inviting, but is that perhaps because there’s something hidden beyond what I can see that leads me to even better and more amazing things than I’ve ever experienced to date. And, continuing the metaphor, would being with her end up in me just looping back to where I’ve been and continuing to run around the maze in circles rather than forward?

I guess what I’m asking myself (and you concerned readers who might care, but probably don’t since you’ve yet to respond to anything I’ve said yet): Is being with her worth it? I left her for someone else because I had been burned by her enough to know I don’t want to put up with it anymore. Not only has she forgiven me for that, but it seems like if I play my cards right, I could win her back from this prat she’s with. A guy who isn’t good to her most of the time and is a guy she can’t even trust. You can’t have a relationship with someone if you don’t trust them. It only leads to disaster. Which I guess leads to my next question, do I trust her? And I don’t have an answer for that yet. Mostly because there are a lot of unknowns to this equation that I have yet to pin down.

I think, for the moment, I’m going to take a wait and see approach. Not because I don’t want to actively take her away from this guy and be with her myself. But because I don’t know what I really want yet and because of all that’s going on right now with me heading out of town and stuff over the course of the next couple weeks, I don’t know what I can realistically do. So I’ll wait. Keep the conversation going and see if I can predict this path of the maze before I actually take any steps down it. 

Smash Bros Predictions!

Let’s talk the new Smash bros. Namely, what to expect, what not to expect, and then just random speculation for shits and giggles. Ready? Here we go?

What do we already know or at least think we already know? We know some of the character roster already. There’s Mario, Fox, Samus, Link, Pikachu, DK, Kirby, Bowser, Pit, Mega Man, The Villager, and the WiiFit Trainer. We also know some of the stages for both versions. Oh, that’s right, there are two versions of the game (3DS and WiiU). On top of that, both versions feature different art styles. There won’t be any cross-console play between the two, BUT you can level up characters in the 3DS version (apparently) and transfer them between the two games. Whether this becomes a major incentive to buy both or not remains to be seen. Though I expect they’ll have some kind of bundle deal to help promote the purchase of both titles.

Anything else? Gameplay wise, we already have some details. We already know how Mega Man and the Villager will function to a fair degree. And while we didn’t get many details on the WiiFit Trainer, we did see that her movements are SIMILAR to that of Zero Suit Samus (from Brawl). We also can see Bowser’s moveset has radically changed from previous iterations as well. It looks like he moves better as well. The tripping mechanic is reportedly gone and the developer (Sakurai) says that he’s aiming to blend the competitive nature of Melee with the casual nature of Brawl. That last sentiment, to me, is a welcome idea. I liked Melee, it was probably the best of the series, but I will disagree with the majority in that it isn’t perfect. The game’s mechanics did make the nature of it TOO competitive for me to thoroughly enjoy. And while Brawl isn’t great, there was something to it that, in some ways, made it superior to Melee. Granted, some aspects were broken as hell, but some of it worked.

All that said, what can we expect going forward from here? Talking characters, Sakurai has already made statements that the game won’t feature an increase in the roster number (or at least not a significant increase). What this means is that we can expect the roster to remain close to the number it was in Brawl with the POSSIBILITY of there being maybe two or three more total characters from last time. From where I’m sitting, I don’t like that. I get the need to maintain balance in the game to some degree, but here’s the thing. Smash Bros, by Sakurai’s own admission, was designed more as a fun fanservice game and not so much a strict competitive fighting game. The concept of balance, to me, comes off as irrelevant at that point. Plus, wouldn’t you WANT more characters in a fanservice game? Granted, I’m not sure which fans wanted the WiiFit Trainer to make the cut. Probably the same kind of people who were drooling at the mouth for Charmy the Bee to appear in Sonic Generations. BUT let’s assume that we’re keeping the roster at the same number until we’re given information from Sakurai that says otherwise. What does that really mean?

It means that since we’ve already seen three NEW characters, that some characters will be getting cut from the previous titles. This to also annoys me to no end. I get cutting Dr. Mario (though he would have made sense as an alternate costume). This also applies to Roy and Pichu. But why the fuck did they cut Mewtwo? I didn’t play him much or consider him to be a great character, but he fit the Smash formula and was certainly more interesting than Lucario. Yet they kept Falco and imitation Ganondorf (because the real Ganondorf would use magic spells and not really slow punches that imitate Captain Falcon). But this also means that a possibly good character from before will be replaced by the likes of someone like the WiiFit Trainer (yes, I’m bitter about that).

But let’s put all that aside for a moment and enter the realm of speculation. I’ll start with third party characters because that will be the easiest thing to speculate. First, we already have Mega Man, which is one third party character. Assuming Snake and Sonic will remain in the next game, that will probably be ALL the third party characters we get, keeping in mind this is a primarily Nintendo thing. That said, if Sonic or Snake get replaced, who do they get replaced with? I’ll go on a limb and say Sonic is the least likely of the two to get replaced, but I’d hate to see either leave the next game because they’re both fun characters. Also, Sakurai has said that Namco characters will not be given a priority to being in the game, despite the fact Namco is helping make the game. While the possibility of Heihachi, Llyod Irving, or Nightmare being the game is still there, it seems very unlikely. Of the three, Lloyd is most likely because I don’t see anyone from Soul Calibur making it. And Heihachi is already in PS All-Stars, so I doubt they’d have him in this too.

As for other third party characters? Bayonetta would be a welcome addition, given her latest Nintendo exclusivity. I also wouldn’t mind shout outs to old NES exclusives like Ryu Hayabusa or Simon Belmont representing Team Ninja and Konami. But of the three, Bayonetta is MOST likely with Simon taking up the next most likely spot. Again, assuming that we get any more third party characters, which I seriously doubt at this point unless Snake is taking a leave of absence.

Moving on to Nintendo’s roster, I’ll go over Pokemon first because they’re the easiest. Of all the ones remaining that I can see being replaced most easily, it’s down to Jigglypuff and Lucario to be quite honest. Jigglypuff is largely irrelevant in the whole scheme of Nintendo and Pokemon while Lucario was essentially the surrogate Mewtwo for Brawl. I know plenty of fans are awaiting the return of Mewtwo for the next game. While I would like that, I see the Mewtwo/Lucario spot just as easily being filled by Generation V’s Zoroark. Given my dislike of Generation V Pokemon, this would annoy me, but I supposed I would tolerate it.  Jigglypuff is less likely to leave over Lucario, BUT I can see her/it getting replaced for another Pokemon from Gen VI. Nothing specific, but because of the introduction of the new “Fairy” type, I can see a new representative taking her place unless she gets that type distinction as well.

I neglected to weigh in on the Pokemon Trainer because I’m not quite sure how he works under the character roster limit. He’s one character, but functions as three distinct characters. So does his removal free up three slots or does it only free up one? More importantly, does Sakurai keep him because he’s unique or drop him because his gimmick didn’t really grab everyone in the pleasurable way he had hoped and dreamed? Personally, losing him wouldn’t be the biggest loss. The concept was interesting, but having to deal with playing as Ivysaur was annoying when I only wanted to play as Charizard or Squirtle. And I imagine a lot of other players had a preferred character from this trio or maybe just one they didn’t like either. I don’t know what will become of him though given that I’m not sure how he counts in the numbers of the roster. So I’m just going to say we’ll likely keep the trainer around, BUT I can see him getting new Pokemon for the next game. We’ll see. Preferably, I’d like to see him replaced with just three new characters.

I’ll tackle the Mario series (DK included) next because that’s also quick and painless. For as similar as he is to his brother, Luigi will be back. It’s the touted “YEAR OF LUIGI” right now and it would make Sakurai look like a ponce to not include the more important brother of the two in the roster. Peach will also be back because she’s one of the three Nintendo poster girls (the main one, in fact). Losing her to the roster is like if we killed off a stupid unicorn. Yeah, it serves no purpose. But it’s rare and kind of pretty. And while I can see him being replaced, Wario was a unique and fun addition to Brawl, where I don’t see him leaving in the next iteration. But of all of them, I’d say he’s the most likely to be swapped out.

Yoshi’s exclusion from the trailer makes me wary he MIGHT not be returning in the next game. That said, he’s been around since game one of the Smash series. I very much doubt they’d axe him all of the sudden without reason. But I can also see him becoming an assist trophy instead (if that item ends up returning). Maybe you can ride him and eat people then? Also, I don’t know about Diddy Kong. I wouldn’t mind seeing him return, but will he come back? I’d say he’s borderline at the moment. Maybe if they gave him a Dixie Kong alternate model so I can have the option of both, then he has more value staying. Otherwise, give me King K. Rool instead because two things were hurting for Brawl. It needed more women  and more villains. King K. Rool may not be the best villain, but at least he’s something doable.

On to Zelda, which should be interesting. I can already say that I expect Toon Link to be cut. Reason one: because Young Link was cut without question for Toony and I can very much see the same treatment happening to our cell shaded friend. My other reason is because he’s in the background of one of the levels of the game. While that doesn’t mean much (given Marvel Vs. Capcom gets away with that kind of nonsense), I personally find that having a playable character in the background of your stage distracting, breaks ANY sense of immersion, and can even mess me up in a game. Yes, the one in the background is wearing a completely different outfit, but his being there would still get to me and I’m sure it would to others too. Plus, is Toon Link really anyone’s favorite? I see him being replaced and I have a few suggestions as to who to expect. Perhaps Ghiraham from Skyward Sword (given that there’s a new Skyward Sword stage) and I’ll always be pulling for Vatti because I think having an actual playable wizard would be cool.

What about Zelda, Sheik, and Ganondorf? Well, Zelda/Sheik is in the same boat as the Pokemon Trainer in that I don’t know how many character slots they actually count for in the way Sakurai has explained it. Is it two or one? Much like Peach, I don’t see Zelda leaving because of the already small number of females the game has to offer. If Sheik is, indeed, counted separately, then she may very well get the boot. Ganondorf is also on the chopping block because he totally tricked us in the last game. We all expected him to come back with some new tricks and not be “Imitation-Captain Falcon.” We were all pulling for him to use his sword in the next game too. But we got neither and he ended up being one of the worst characters in the game. I want G-daddy to return. But if he does, it has to be done proper. Give him a new moveset and make him playable. Also, he’d better not get replaced with Demise from Skyward Sword or you’ll have just wasted a perfectly good character slot and pissed off a lot of Zelda fans.

Metroid is quick and painless. ZeroSuit will likely be dropped. I know, it’s sad. But we don’t need TWO SAMUSES! You might think the whole “THIS MAKES IT SO THERE’S LESS WOMENZ IN SMASH!” But that’s not the case because Samus and ZeroSuit Samus are the same person. I don’t count the same person twice for a census, why should they count for two people here? It seems like WiiFit Girl may have a similar moveset or at least movement compared to her so I suspect a replacement may have occurred. I also doubt we’ll see anyone NEW from Metroid. Dark Samus is a possibility (though a stupid one) as she’d be better for an alternate costume/model than an actual character. I wouldn’t mind seeing another hunter like Rundas, but I find it doubtful. Overall, I’m still pulling for Ridley after all these years. He almost had it as a boss character in the last game. This time around, I’m pulling for him to make it as a play able character. I know it won’t happen, but I can still dream though. Also, bring back Kraid and Brinstar Depths! Best level in Melee!

StarFox is going to be controversial as I know people who are in a camp for all three different characters for who their favorite or the best actually is. First, we all know Fox is in the game. Not only is he essentially the title character from his series, but he was in the trailer. So we all know this comes down to Wolf and Falco. Now, the fact Falco dodged the chopping block in the first game is shocking. And while he sported some new moves in Brawl, I don’t feel like he’s fundamentally different enough from Fox to justify him being a separate character. Like I mentioned before, Falco as an alternate model to Fox would be acceptable. It’d be sad, but it’s better than losing him like we did Roy. Wolf, however, functions differently enough to justify him still kicking around. Maybe some tweaks to help set him apart more, but nothing too radical. I could see Krystal taking over for Falco or Wolf… but I personally feel like fans would prefer to keep Falco instead of Krystal and I’d prefer to keep Wolf over Krystal… so I think she’ll sit this one out again.

Meta Knight will likely be back. He was top tier last time. He was a fan favorite for YEARS. Sakurai wanted him in the game early on along with Dedede. Ergo, I don’t see Meta Knight leaving at all. Dedede is a tougher sell. More villains is good, but I know Sakurai was worried about flooding the earlier Smash games with his characters and he may feel the need to cut back. I’d be sad to see either leave because both have been fun. But it’s ultimately his call. If they get cut, I don’t see any other Kirby characters coming into the fray as none of them are close to memorable (though all of them are more memorable than the fucking WiiFit trainer).

Captain Falcon will be back. He’s iconic. He’s a meme. If he leaves the game, people will riot in the streets. Sakurai will likely be hung by a very angry fan mob. And I’ll just sit back and watch the world burn. … But seriously, Falcon will be back. No other F-Zero races are likely, but Captain Falcon is a lock. If I’m wrong, then I will personally bend over and take a twelve inch black dildo up the ass. That’s how confident I am on that one.

Ness is another one that is pretty much a lock for me. Lucas will likely be cut, but Ness is getting Earthbound rereleased for the WiiU’s virtual console this year. Smash is what made him grow in popularity and now Earthbound’s rerelease will do the same for him in Smash, I believe. So let’s just agree that Ness is another lock, but it’s not as confident as the Falcon.

Fire Emblem is also a tough one to really go over. Marth has been a staple for the series, being America’s first introduction to the franchise as a whole THANKS TO Melee having him in the roster. Roy was cut, but that was because he was a clone/twin of Math and I assume he was less popular than Marth as well, though his assets are apparently in the game still. If Marth is removed, I speculate that he will be replaced with another Fire Emblem character, but he/she will have the same or nearly the same moveset as him. If Marth is replaced, I also guess that Ike would be more likely to stay. BUT I’m going to say Ike is more likely to be replaced by someone else. The lead guess is Chrom (spelling?) from Awakening because there is a stage from that game and he is one of the more popular characters from that series. But given the size of the series and how many characters there are to choose from, the list could go on. Personally, I would prefer a more magic-based character and/or a female just to add more variety to the existing roster of fighters.

As for other returning characters, I see the Ice Climbers returning because they functioned in such a unique way, that it would hard to replace them with really anyone else. Mr. Game & Watch is a character I could see getting replaced due to his less than stellar reception from fans, often being wrote off as a gimmicky joke character (which is what WiiFit Girl seems to be this time around). If Game & Watch manages to stay, it’s almost a guarantee that ROB gets the boot then. ROB isn’t really a character. And while his whole character is unique, there isn’t much that is really “good” or “fun” about him. Their inclusion in the story mode from Brawl may warrant them a pass for the next game, but I don’t expect to see a return of Game & Watch or ROB. But I could be wrong. Pikmin is popular among a lot of fans. With a new game coming out, I can’t imagine that Olimar will be getting cut from the next installment at all. If he did, I would be somewhat surprised, but again, I expect to see him returning for the fourth game.

Those are all the characters and franchises already introduced through the existing character roster from previous games and current trailers. That said, if we start making all these cuts and replacements, who else is likely to make the cut from Nintendo’s list of candidates? Given that the WiiFit Girl has made the cut (HA) it’s safe to say virtually anyone has a shot at making this list. But let’s go over the ones we can assume to be the most likely and the ones that fans would probably be most accepting of.

For starters, I could see Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles), Zael (Last Story), and Aeron (Pandora’s Tower) all being possible candidates. And, if enough cuts are made, I would even argue that all three are, in fact, possible. All three games were well received, and some of them were even considered the best games the Wii had to offer. They even sold decently in Japan, which was one of the main factors that pushed the localization efforts for America. Oh, and that whole Operation Rainfall ordeal that got these games an American localization shows there’s an audience for these characters. I’m willing to bet at least ONE of them makes it in. But all three would be rather spectacular. Upon further reading, I’ve found out that Shulk is not only more connected to the Nintendo brand (being made by Monolith) but also that Xenoblade was actually more popular than the other two. So I’m going to say Shulk is most likely, but I’m not counting out the others entirely.

Saki Amamiya from Nintendo’s “Sin & Punishment” series has a fair shot to make into the roster this time as well. Non-Japanese were introduced to her as an assist trophy in Brawl. It was shortly after that we gained access to the Japanese only game for the N64 on the virtual console and even got a Wii game from the franchise. While I’m not sure how well either did, the fact this series went global gives me a good feeling we could see more of her in this game as her character and series both looked pretty interesting.

There’s also the other popular series I’ve almost overlooked, Golden Sun. Isacc made his Smash debut already in Brawl as an assist trophy. And if we have Saki (above) as a potential character, I feel like Isacc is just as worth to being promoted to part of the roster. I know a lot of people are pulling for him or another Golden Sun character. And, quite frankly, I can see him working better as a playable character than an assist trophy anyway.

Last bit of speculation would be thrown towards playable Miis in the game. I don’t want to assume this would happen. More importantly, I feel like Miis would have been put in over the WiiFit Girl. At this point, if the Miis do make it in, they’d likely be akin to customizable characters. Whether or not this ends up being the case, I don’t know. But let’s keep this one on the table because it’s within the realm of possibility.

So all that said and done, what CAN we expect our full roster to look like? Here is my speculative list of characters that will make the final cut for SSB4. This list operates under the assumption that Zelda, Samus, and the Pokemon Trainer all operated as one character respectively and their alternate forms were a part of their one character for the sake of determining roster size. Otherwise, I’d have a much more diverse list. Those marked with “*” are obviously not confirmed at the time of writing.

Mario, Fox, Pikachu, Link, Samus, Kirby, DK, Yoshi*, Captain Falcon*, Ness*, Luigi*, Peach*, Bowser, Zelda/Sheik*, Ganondorf*, Ice Climbers*, Marth*, Mewtwo or Zoroark*, Pit, Wario*, Meta Knight*, Olimar*, Sonic* Snake*,  Wolf*, Diddy Kong*, WiiFit Trainer, The Villager, Mega Man, Saki Amamiya*, Ghiraham*, Chrom*, Shulk*, Isacc*, Lloyd Irving*, and Bayonetta.

The last two are my wild cards in that I’m not entirely sure who else would fit, but I wanted to throw down two candidates I would PREFER to see in the game from what I’ve already mentioned. Yes, I know I dropped TWO Pokemon characters to make this list, but I feel Pokemon has always been a bit over represented with this series anyway. And a couple of characters I still really want didn’t make my final cut. While I’m sure my list will have plenty of inaccuracies, I look forward to seeing just how long until we can confirm or deny any of my possible suggestions. On top of that, if we can open up a three more slots (to replace the other two Pokemon from the trainer as well as Zero Suit) then I would add the following three to the roster above: Undetermined Fairy-type Pokemon (possibly Jigglypuff) [alternatively, Zoroark and Mewtwo instead of just one or the other], King Dedede for the return, and I’ll say Ridley, however unlikely that might be. A man can dream, right?

So those are my Smash Bros. 4 predictions. I’m looking forward to finding out over the next year how close I am to the actual roster. I really think I’m fairly accurate… but the WiiFit girl was pretty fucking surprising so I could be totally fucking wrong on this whole ordeal. 

The Crossroads of Destiny

(Editors note: Title is a GREAT episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender. You best check that shit out!)

This may end up being one of those logs that doesn’t go to air. If it does, expect name changes and perhaps some restructuring so that it’s approved for all ages. Also, I’m writing this over the course of two days. The first bit being the pre-game, and the second being whenever I can get to it the following day. As you can guess, something may, in fact, be going down in between and I’m about to spill what that may or may not be and then talk about it and hope to bring myself to a conclusion on the whole thing (eventually).

So I was just sitting home, minding my own business while watching some of the outtakes from Red Vs. Blue Season 9 (best bonus features of the series so far, by the way). Suddenly, I get a text from Nina (name changed) and she’s been drinking and felt fairly tipsy. For those who don’t remember, I mentioned Nina, though not by any given name. She was the girl I mentioned a few posts back who I felt was WAAAY out of my league as she did tech circles around me like she was on a god damned Tron bike. Anyway, I continued the conversation, not expecting much more than drunken ramblings before I started getting ready to turn in. Things took a bit of a turn when she said she felt like making out (jokingly) with her drink. I made a “witty” response which then turned into something else. Now I’m essentially waiting for her to bump her friend out so I can go over and see where the night ends up taking us.

So the reason I haven’t been posting recently is largely because the common thought running through my head of “I’m lonely. I’m horny” and bouncing between these two things over and over again. Fact is, I don’t really know what I’m wanting in a relationship right now. I mean, I know, ultimately, what would be nice to have, but given all that’s happened… I’m not sure if I’m even ready to commit to anything seriously. And I don’t mean that in the sense I have commitment issues or anything. But in the sense that I don’t want to commit to a relationship and not be all there for them. I don’t want a repeat of what happened with Rose where I really do care about them, but I’m not mentally there 100% to show that.

This has led me to conclude two things. One, perhaps what some people have been saying is true (won’t name names because this is something that’s been mentioned for a while) and that maybe I just need some random flings. This is something I’ve argued against because I’m more interested in developing something that’s more concrete and real. And, to me, random flings have always come off as cheap (or in some cases, expensive to the wallet, but cheap in emotional depth) and it usually leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that if I don’t know what I want in a relationship to the point where I can (unintentionally) come off as detached, then I’m giving a cheap emotional experience to the person I’m with, regardless. But if the other person and I are in agreement that it’s just a physical thing for fun, then the emotional detachment isn’t as big an issue and we both get to at least experience the intimacy that would normally come with a functioning relationship. And who’s to say that things can’t change from that into something more serious at some point.

The other thing I’ve concluded is that much like my brother, I’m prone to stupid decisions. But my choices generally involve me having fun doing an activity like wasting money on games or losing sleep because of women while he chooses to toss money on alcohol and drugs. I think it’s safe to say who may be getting the better deal in the long run. That said, it is also good to put that into perspective because had I gone on the path he did instead, I might have ended up in a worse situation with worse problems. Meanwhile, my only problems are trying to fully understand women and how to make things work with them. I’m apparently doing something right some of the time unintentionally and I don’t know how, what, why, when, or where. Which is only serving to confuse me more.

Now I feel like I’m rambling. But I think I’m heading out soon. I suppose prepare yourself for the post-game show sometime tomorrow if I can manage to get around to it.

 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

So this is a couple of days later due to me being tired and also wanting more information before sharing anything that happened. Because I hate to only give you a little information and then constantly go back and forth for weeks giving you different sets of information before holding a press conference to tell you all of the bad stuff that was claimed to be rumors is “true.” You see what I did there? I took a shot at XboxOne in a personal entry about my “sex” life. Bet you haven’t seen that yet.

Anyway, so I went over. Stuff happened gradually. Then once stuff started, it went from starting off slow to shooting up to high gear. I’m keeping this vague and metaphorical because this isn’t supposed to be a pornographic telling of my life. Just me talking about relationships, work, and so forth. If you want porn, go visit pornhub (no, this is not an endorsement, but it’s the only name I could think of fast enough to write).

I waited a few days before directly asking, hoping that it would come up in conversation with her naturally. It didn’t because trying to have a conversation with her is difficult because she’s either busy or drops out randomly, which ends a conversation without warning. What was asked? “Why did it happen and is this just going to be a one-time deal?” The first question was asked simply to find out why someone who came off as not being all that sex-driven suddenly wanted some action. The answer? Booze. I knew she was drunk, but apparently it was more than she was letting on at the time. In light of that, I started to feel kind of bad about it because I never liked the idea of taking advantage of a drunk girl. The idea seems creepy and underhanded. BUT, I was hanging with her a bit beforehand and she seemed pretty aware of what was going on and didn’t come off as being “super drunk”, least that I could tell. Still doesn’t sit well with me over all, but what’s done is done and there isn’t any undoing of anything at this point.

The second question might come off as me simply wanting more action. While that’s partly the case, I was fishing for a different kind of answer. Not so much is this the only action I’m getting out of you, but more of the is this going to be leading anywhere kind of question. Is this going to be a friends-with-benefits deal? A relationship? A one-night stand? Something else entirely that I haven’t thought of? The reason I wanted clarification on this was so that I didn’t build up any expectations for more with there being little to no chance of more. I was already sort of anticipating this call to action (I like that term for this) to happen again simply because it seemed like she was really enjoying herself. BUT, upon asking, she gave me a half-committed “Kind of. We’ll see.” So she took a Microsoft approach on this one (OH! Two shots at the XboxOne shenanigans in a row and I’m not even talking about it in this one).

This was rather disappointing. I would have preferred a definite NO over something that doesn’t really answer the question because then I’d know if this was even worth pursuing anymore. And by “this” I don’t mean sex but I mean just a relationship/friendship/ANYTHING with her. Saying “no” would mean that we’ve hit the limits of what we’re going to be and it would be time to move on. “Yes” would mean that something more is to be had and that things will progress from there. Saying, “Kind of. We’ll see,” tells me almost nothing. I mean, there are some things I can GLEAM from it, but nothing concrete and most of it is just speculation.

What? I can GLEAM that she is interested, but doesn’t want to say yes only to disappoint when nothing ends up happening. I can gleam that she might want more because she did enjoy herself, but doesn’t want to come off as someone who only wants sex (which is understandable, as I want more than just that too). I can gleam that maybe she wants more from me before committing to an answer, but isn’t willing to say exactly what and that may be because she doesn’t quite know either. And… to be fair… I don’t quite know what I want either (segway)

You see… for a while, I’ve wanted a relationship because I like the feeling of someone being that close and intimate with me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I like the idea of someone who gets me completely and accepts me and my shortcomings. Yeah, it sounds like family, but in a perfectly stable relationship, don’t most couples end up becoming family? So that logic is sound. BUT finding someone like that is difficult. No, I’m not trying to sound whiney or complain about something being difficult. I’m just stating the fact that the process is difficult. It can take a long time to find someone who is compatible (similar interests, outlooks on life, etc). And, even then, it comes down to chemistry. I had good chemistry with Susan not long ago, but we weren’t all that compatible. On the flip side, Rose and I seemed fairly compatible, but our chemistry was unstable and broken.

Anymore, I’ve been thinking that maybe some advice I’ve gotten from some friends (ones I’ve disagreed with before on the matter) might be right. Maybe I should be more open to the idea of casual sex. Again, I’m not settling on the idea, but it’s something to think about more and more. It’s a way to get to know a person intimately. It could lead to something more. And if it doesn’t, you get to enjoy a fun activity you wouldn’t get often otherwise. That said, the idea still leaves me feeling somewhat dirty and uncomfortable with the idea. Especially if it means that I may end up taking more drunk girls home with me as a result of it.

So, at this point, I’m not sure what I want. How I want to go about pursuing this girl or anyone else. Or what to really do while I’m figuring all this out. But, regardless of all that, this is distracting and frustrating. It makes it difficult to concentrate on things that really matter and I think that’s the main reason why I was hoping that this wouldn’t be a one-night thing, but a more ongoing thing. Having a constant stream of sex with someone, that could have turned into something more, would give me LESS to think about because if that was the case, I wouldn’t have the thought of looking for someone to be with (not necessarily for just sex, but in a romantic sense in general) at all. But, alas, that isn’t the case. So I shall continue to be distracted and work through such distractions.

I will say this much. I do like sex and I would like more. But I don’t want it to be meaningless and empty with just random girls who offer it up because they have a ridiculously high sex drive and aren’t shy of it or because their drunk. BUT… I don’t know. I’m willing for something physical so long as it’s consistent with someone if it happens. Fuck… I don’t know.

Also. E3 today. Still not convinced about the XboxOne. No to the $500 price tag for an anti-consumer machine like that. No to the XBL subscriptions when Steam, PSN, and WiiU are FREE with the first one being a far superior service. And at least PSN offers an incentive for those who pay with free games every so often. Still no backwards compatibility. Still has the 24-hour online check-in. Still has the severe restrictions to used games. Why bother when it sounds like a shittier PC? Oh? Halo? I don’t give a fuck about Halo or most any other Xbox exclusive. Why do you think I haven’t bought a 360 yet?

PS4 is later tonight. Alright Sony. It’s your turn to show us what a real gaming console is capable of. Don’t fuck it up this time. That said, Nintendo is tomorrow morning and I’m sure that will be nothing but sunshine and rainbows. Now if only Valve or Sega would announce something spectacular this year. Then I’d be good.  

Games of 2013 I'm Hype to Play

(Wrote for fun and because some personal stuff going on recently I want to talk about but don't feel like getting into just yet. So.... yeah... wait til maybe next week probably?)

So 2013 is six months in and while game releases have been MOSTLY slow for a while, we can expect them to start picking up soon OR to start getting announced in spades for a holiday release (along with some new consoles). And rather than talk about anything personal, because I’m still working all that out in my head right now as to what I want and if anything I’m involved with now will pan out to anything I want, I want to talk about games again. Today will be what I’m looking forward to in gaming for 2013.

Before we begin, I’m going to start by saying the following games: Anarchy Reigns, Fire Emblem Awakening, Trials Evolution Gold, Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon, and Slender: The Arrival will not make my list because I already bought them. But other games that have been released that I’ve missed out on are eligible for the list. But seeing as how they’ve been released, reviewed, and many have Let’s Plays I’ve seen already, I’m going to try to focus  on games that have yet to be released or covered in great detail. Also, no consoles. I’m looking forward to the SteamBox and the unlikely announcement of Dreamcast 2, but being excited about those isn’t the same as being excited about games. Something that Microsoft doesn’t seem to fully grasp which is why they’re trying to sell us an entertainment hub with the deceiving name of XboxOne. Okay, no particular order, here we go:

Remember Me didn’t release with stellar reviews, not horrible, but not bad. But I’ve seen the gameplay looks interesting, using moves from fighting games like Street Fighter for combat. I don’t know a lot of details, but I’m intrigued. Plus, female protagonist and an interesting looking aesthetic help sell this game to me. Not one I intend to rush out and get, but I might get on a Steam Sale or used later this year.

Game & Wario is another title I’m excited for because I’ve loved the WarioWare games for their fun microgame-local multiplayer shenanigans in previous titles. Plus, a new WiiU game is always welcome, especially when there aren’t a lot coming out for a while still. Going on other WiiU titles coming later this year, we have Watch Dogs (which is actually multi-platform) but I intend to buy the WiiU version in the end if I get it. Watch Dogs was impressive last year as being the only game to show off gameplay at E3, BUT the gameplay itself didn’t wow me to the degree it wowed some people I know. But we’ll see when it gets released. The Wonderful 101 looks alright as well, but I know little about it. I’m hoping for more details in the coming weeks (e3 2013). Arkham Origins, another multiplatform game, will also get a WiiU buy for me because I want to get whatever games I can for the WiiU since I would much rather use that than my PS3 (which isn’t bad, but not my favorite). But do I need to explain why I want Arkham Origins? It just looks good and fun. It’s more Batman. No Rocksteady, sure, but everything I’ve seen and read so far seems promising. As for WiiU exclusives, while I won’t add Pikmin 3 to my list (for lack of playing the first two), I do have a few coming later this year that I know are getting released prior to E3 I can’t wait to play. Shovel Knight, Sonic Lost Worlds, and the Virtual Console release of Earthbound. All three of which have been talked about a lot and I’m excited for all three. Guys who gave us Megaman are making a Megaman style game with Shovel Knight. Sonic is getting a new console release, and it looks amazing already. And I’ve never been able to play Earthbound (those who know me know why) so I’m looking forward to seeing if I’ll enjoy this as much as I enjoyed Chrono Trigger or other SNES titles.

While the number is smaller, the 3DS has a few titles I’m excited for as well. Project X Zone, a game I’ve only heard a little about, is coming soon. It mixes up Namco, Sega, and Capcom awesomeness all into one title. It looks like a fighter/action game and I’m okay with that. Won’t buy right away, but I’ll certainly look into getting it soon. Shin Megami Tensei IV is coming to 3DS, and if you know anything about the Shin Megami Tensei series OR about Atlus in general, then you know this will be worth a look. Plus I think it’d be nice to play this in preparation for the Fire Emblem crossover with Shin Megami Tensei (coming later this year or early next year I hope). And while I’m still on the fence about it, Pokemon X/Y has my attention. If they manage to bring back what made generations 1 through 4 great while improving the graphics and HOPEFULLY adding something NEW to the game, then I’m in. But if ends up being a retread of generation 5 or watering down the series MORE, then I suppose Pokemon will die here for me. Fingers crossed that Pokemon gets back to basics for me. Also Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages/Seasons comes out (I can’t remember if it is 3DS or WiiU or both) on Virtual Console. Having never played the originals (because of a lack of interest in Zelda) I’m somewhat excited to give this retro games a try.

I’ve been skeptical for a while, but I’m excited to see exactly what the new Deadpool game brings to the table in a few weeks. From what I hear, it’s like Devil May Cry, but with Deadpool. Color me interested, but skeptical. I won’t pre-order, but once I see reviews, I’ll make up my mind for sure. That said, I’m likely going to get this during the first week it’s out. Last of Us also comes out soon. It’s some kind of zombie game, but apparently it takes the Walking Dead (Telltale) approach of giving us a good story and good characters to make it less monotonous. It’s getting near perfect scores everywhere, so, yeah, I’ll try it out. We’ll see if I can dig it.

July looks to be a barren month for games, but Pay Day 2 will fix that in August and I know at least three other people to play with. I don’t normally like online games, but Pay Day (much like Left 4 Dead) makes co-op feel necessary and fun. Plus, what’s not to like about robbing banks. It’s that rare online game that makes a unique online experience. It’s not just death match or horde mode. You are given a mission to rob banks, take hostages, and all sorts of other mechanics I don’t see in too many other games. Put this one in the buying-day-one column. Along with that, Saints Row 4 has my attention because I’ve loved Saints Row 2 and 3 so much. That said, it looks even goofier, easier, and the marketing for it (with a heavy focus on dubstep for some reason) is rubbing me the wrong way thus far. So, I’ll wait and see where it goes. GTA V is much the same way, but that’s mostly because I’ve never played a GTA game before (wasn’t my cup of the tea for the longest time). But I might give GTA V a shot if the buzz is good.

David Cage brings us Beyond Two Souls later this year as well. It’s likely to be full of EMOTIONS and POLYGONS. Also, it has Willem Dafoe and Ellen Page, so that means it has to be good, right? That said, if it is anything like Heavy Rain, the story will be shit. The gameplay will be non-existent, and the whole ordeal will play like David Cage is stroking his ego again. But… Willem Dafoe… it could only be better if they had cast Robert Downey Jr instead.

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs, is the ONLY indie survival horror game I’ve found coming out this year (so far). Thus, it makes the list simply for being unique. Also, Amnesia was that game that I was literally scared of to not finish (which I should really correct soon). So the sequel is very much welcome to come out and make me shit myself. Going on to other PC releases, Elder Scrolls Online looks promising, as I’ve lost a lot of time to Skyrim. But being an MMO, I doubt it’ll be something I want to actually jump into. If the combat is anything like Elder Scrolls, count me on. Otherwise, fuck it.

Killer is Dead has been holding my attention for some time now, and I want to blame my frustrated libido for being too interested in the “Gigolo missions” for its own good. But it looks stylish. It looks fun. It looks perverted. And I’m down for another Suda51 joint after playing some Shadows of the Damned and soon to try out Lollypop Chainsaw. Another unique title I’m excited for is Paradox Interactive’s Knights of Pen and Paper +1, which is an RPG but you play as a group of D&D players (essentially) on their quest and it looks pretty close to the D&D level action I’ve been wanting for MONTHS (the only thing I’ve wanted this bad for the past few months OTHER than sex). I already pre-ordered it because it looks unique and fun enough where I won’t be disappointed by the loss of $15 dollars, even if it ends up being bad. Though, if I could get laid in addition to this, then my week would be complete (but that’s unlikely to happen).

Rain is another title coming soon that looks unique. You play an invisible kid who can only be seen when the rain hits his/her invisible body. You explore the world, solve puzzles, do a little platforming, and save the world (or something). The game looks very stylized and beautiful and I can’t wait to see how it turns out in the end. The Metal Gear series gave us Revengeance earlier this year, which I aim to go back and try out at some point because it does look fun, but I also intend to give MGS5: Phantom Pain a shot as well because that is shaping up to be interesting as well. We’ll see once more details are released. After many delays, South Park: The Stick of Truth will finally come out later this year. With THQ dying, we all grew worried that the South Park game would be lost too. Luckily, it was saved (by Ubisoft I think) and we’ll be getting it soon enough. But the one game yet to come I’m most excited for is the sequel to last year’s best game, The Walking Dead… Season 2. If the first season was a good indicator as to what to expect from TellTale, I can only imagine the sequel will exceed whatever expectations I have for it. I know Lee will be gone, but we can all agree Clementine was really the focus of the story while Lee was more of the guy pushing that story along. Now that we just have Clementine, who has learned all she can from Lee, it’s time to see where things go from here. I, for one, am excited to see what TellTale will give us to work with in the next installment.

As for titles already released, I would like to go back and play that Devil May Cry reboot as well as the Tomb Raider reboot, but neither of them are high on my list. I already mentioned Revengeance (still a stupid name). Retro City Rampage has been talked about for ages and it looks fun, I just have to actually get it. Being a Naruto fan, Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 looks great, but I’m holding off because it looks a lot like Ninja Storm Generations, which I didn’t really play much of once I beat it and I don’t see a reason to spend $60 on a new title when the old one is still just as good. Bioshock Infinite is still on my list, but not having played the first, I’m not as inclined to get it that quick. Injustice: Gods Among Us is a game I rented and had fun with. I’ll likely get it at a discount later this year or next year. But for $60? Probably not. Pandora’s Tower (along with the Last Story and Xenoblade Chronicles) is one of the three Operation Rainfall success stories and I’ve been wanting to pick it up for some time now. A good JRPG for the Wii sounds like it might be fun right about now. SMT: Devil Summoner Soul Hackers for the 3DS looks entertaining. Metro Last Light just got released and I’m interested in trying that out eventually. And, of course, Donkey Kong Country Returns for the 3DS has my attention because Donkey Kong Country was one of the best SNES games I’ve played yet.

That’s my list of games I’m excited for so far for 2013. There will likely be more announced next week at E3 and I’m sure I’ll have something to say after that is said and done. Here’s hoping Bayonetta 2 will get a 2013 release date. Here’s hoping Retro Studios will give us something this year as well. Also, Smash Bros 4 is getting something to show us at E3. If we’re lucky, we’ll know more details about who is in it and how the game will be played (the same as before or something with a Namco twist). All-in-all, I’m fairly excited for this crop of games coming soon.